Inner Circle

Trust is something I definitely do not give easily. While I have improved significantly I am still quite guarded with certain parts of me. In other words, there are very few people I trust and even less that I trust with what is on my heart; the vulnerable and fragile parts of me. This is true of me even at Regeneration. When I realized that the more I got acquainted with certain people the less I could trust them with certain parts of me I became disheartened. I had to fight withdrawing completely from the people that I felt I could not trust. I began to worry that true community could not be reached when I figured out that I could not trust everyone with all of me. All along I thought that true community could only be reached through complete transparency and vulnerability, which is why I felt guilty for not trusting everyone with every part of me.

Yesterday during my personal ministry time, Kristen taught me otherwise. She asked me a few questions to see if my reasons for not trusting certain people with all of me were tied to my trust issues, it became apparent that they weren't. She told me that it was alright that I only have a few people that I trust with my weak moments. She reminded me that even though Jesus had twelve disciples, only three witnessed him sweat blood. In other words, Jesus had twelve people who followed him everywhere but he only had three with which he shared his vulnerable moments.